It's like the little fucker is grinning at me...Now I need your concensus on another food item that rankles my gastronomic sensibilities to the very core:
Melons.
Namely, cantaloupe and honeydew. Watermelon is just on the brink of being acceptable, but I have to be in the mood for it. It has a fibrous texture that has a tendency to bother me on occasion, but on a hot summer day, its abundant, mildly sweet juiciness is a godsend.
Honeydew is a step below watermelon but only moderately so. I recently made a fruit salad that had honeydew, blueberries, and mango all tossed in a lime-ginger reduction that was fantastic. The dressing had a way of masking what I have come to view as a "garbage" flavor emanating from these dastardly orbs.
This brings me, however, to the ultimate offender. The Hannibal Lecter of fruits, otherwise known as... Cantaloupe.
Oh killer of joyous sustenance consumption!
Oh vile, malicious melon of mirthful malevolence!
You reek of rot, and taste like taint! Be gone from my presence, oh orange-hued perniciousness, and leave only in your wake a withering rind to remind the world that there is such a thing as elemental evil, for that is your only value!
Perhaps when I've restored my smiting power after this little rant, I will go after the citrusy Damien to the melony Satan: Grapefruit. Until then, I only have this left to say to the melons of the world:
You're dead to me.
